Hard Times
by Abby Lockhart
Summary: GSR. Sara gets bad news, Grissom is there to help her through. An old fic I had archived.


"You okay?" Grissom asked as he leaned forward to turn the key in the ignition before flopping back in his seat, staring at Sara beside him the whole time.

"Uh huh." Pausing to let out a long, tired sigh, "Just getting too old for a full shift bent over processing." She shrugged briefly looking up at him before moving her right hand up to massage the sore and tired muscles in her neck. He reached over with his right arm and did the same to her left shoulder, she groaned at the loss when he dropped his hand back onto the wheel.

"You can finish that when we get home.." She stated, shooting him a smirky sideways glance as she let her head fall back on the head rest and allowed her eyes to rest for just a minute. He replied by asking if she was too old for processing a scene then what that made him, it fell on deaf ears though as she had already fallen asleep.

Grissom decided to meticulously stick to the speed limit on the way back to the lab and drag out the journey by taking the long way, that way Sara could have the power nap she clearly needed. He glanced at her occasionally, wondering along the way why she found it so hard to drift off to sleep like that at home, a little concern furrowed his brow and he sighed as he turned into the lab parking lot.

He expected her to wake up when the car came to a halt with her being such a light sleeper but it wasn't until he moved his hand onto her knee and gave it a squeeze that her eyes opened and confused, she adjusted to her surroundings. She looked at him with a small smile and shrugged. Taking his hand, she looked around her to make sure no one was watching them prompting him to do the same. Her body felt worn out and stiff yet she didn't want to leave the warm confines of the car just yet.

"Are you okay, Honey?" He asked again, lifting her hand to his mouth for a brief kiss on her knuckles.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Let's get finished up here and go home." She yawned, letting go of Grissom's hand to undo her seat belt and reach for the door handle, upon swinging the door open she felt the fatigue in her arms and sighed heavily.

Grissom grabbed both of their kits from the trunk leaving her to get a couple of evidence bags they had filled at the scene, she picked them up in one hand and stretched up to close the heavy door whilst letting out another yawn.

Grissom gave her a sympathetic look and then turned his back on her and let himself into the building, playing his usual nonchalant character as they were back in work territory.

Sara checked the evidence in for processing and decided to grab a coffee before attempting any paperwork, she walked slowly down the darkened corridors towards the haven of the break room but her journey was interrupted by the shrill ringing of her phone.

She stopped in her tracks, too tired to walk and talk at the same time. "Sara Sidle," As she answered Grissom approached, obviously on his way for a coffee fix too. He ran his hand down her back discreetly as he squeezed past and left her to take her call.

He was drumming his fingers on the side waiting for the coffee machine as Sara joined him in the break room, "I've changed my mind about overtime, I'm going to go home." She grabbed her bag off the side and without meeting his eyes turned to leave the room.

"Sara." She stopped in her tracks, "Is everything okay?"

She looked up briefly meeting his eyes and quickly snapped her eyes shut blocking out the concern she saw there. She shrugged then shook her head and before the tears could come she turned her back on him and left the room. She couldn't break down here, she needed to get out of here before she cracked and let it out, she couldn't have her colleagues seeing her weak.

Grissom quickly finished all the tasks that couldn't wait until tomorrow, grabbed his keys and went home to find Sara. As he pulled up he was relieved to see her car parked outside, he crept into the house in case she was sleeping. He placed his keys into the glass bowl by the door and looked over the back of the couch half expecting to see Sara curled up there. She wouldn't usually go to bed without him, but she wasn't there. A quick search of the bedroom and spare room revealed that she wasn't in the house. He dug his cell phone from his pocket and called her, jumping when her phone buzzed from where it sat on the kitchen counter. His anxiety levels were rising until he paced into the kitchen a saw a note on the fridge: 'Gone for run'.

He pulled it off the fridge knocking off the magnet that was holding it up, he sighed at the brief note and scratched his beard. She was already fatigued towards the end of her shift and now she had gone running?..that could only mean that she was sure she wouldn't get any sleep unless she physically exhausted herself. He started looking through the cupboards for something he could persuade her to eat before a shower and bed. He hoped she would let him in and talk to him before they went to bed, he wasn't sure he would be able to sleep with this anxiety residing in his chest.

His blank stares into the bare cupboards were cut short when he heard her key in the lock and Sara tripped through the door on shaky legs. She was panting heavily and he could hear the music from her headphones from the other side of the room. She stared at him as she threw her iPod in the bowl with his keys and kicked off her running shoes at the door. She stumbled her way across the living room and to him in the kitchen falling into his embrace, he tightened his arms around her clammy body as her sobs mixed with her breathlessness and she gasped for air, he tried to let her go but she clung to him.

"Sara, just breathe. You need to slow it down, okay?" He held her with one arm and pulled out a chair from the kitchen table with the other sitting down on it and pulling her into his lap.

"I can't.." she gasped, tears rolling down her cheeks. "Can't.."

"Shhh, don't try to speak just focus on your breathing. In and out.." knowing she was bordering on a panic attack he decided now wasn't the time to ask what the hell was going on. She started to settle her body against him and finally rested her head on his shoulder as she regained control of her breathing. He stroked her sweaty hair out of her face, whispering comforting words as she closed her heavy eyelids, her exhaustion finally consuming her.

"Come on let's get you in bed, huh?" He stood up, putting her on her feet before he had to carry her, her arms remained wrapped around his neck and her head pressed against his chest as he walked them to their bedroom. She fell into her side of the bed and he leant over her pressing a kiss to her forehead, before pulling the covers up over her semi-conscious form. He smiled briefly as he thought about how disgusted she would be when she woke up to find she had gone to bed without getting showered and changed. He stood over her for a few minutes making sure she was settled before undressing for the shower himself.

Grissom turned off the light and slipped into bed as gently as he could manage, in a desperate attempt not to disturb Sara. He held his breath as she stirred and rolled over to face him, he shuffled closer to her as she buried her head under his chin and pulled him closer.

"My mom died." She whispered so quietly Grissom wasn't sure if he dreamt it. He opened his eyes and pulled back to look at her face, she still had her eyes screwed shut and pulled him back against her.

"Sara.."

"Just hold me, Gil." She whispered, she didn't need to hear his words of comfort she just wanted him to comfort her with his presence. He kissed the top of her head and slipped his hands around her, stroking her back and holding her to him.

"Get some rest then, we'll talk later. I love you." He murmured into her hair as he felt her inhale shakily trying to hold back the tears.

It was late afternoon when she stirred and Sara was surprised to find she had had a somewhat restful sleep. She sighed when the reality of yesterday washed over her and she looked over to see if Grissom was awake yet as she knew they were going to have to talk. Of course he was awake, and he tried to keep the worry from his eyes as she met his gaze. She offered him a small smile before getting up and going straight into the bathroom and turning on the shower. He sighed and rubbed his beard before swinging his legs over the side of the bed and sitting for a moment with his head in his hands. He looked up as he heard the en suite bathroom door open,

"Could you get me a fresh towel?" She asked quietly.

"Of course, get in the shower I'll bring it in honey." He tried to inject some positivity into his words and even offered her a small smile.

He retrieved a couple of freshly laundered towels and dutifully took them into the bathroom and placed them on the counter.

"Here you go, I got one for your hair too." He said feeling somewhat awkward. When she didn't reply he popped his head behind the shower curtain and was taken aback when he saw Sara was sitting under the hot spray with her head in her hands. He quickly stripped himself of the tshirt and boxer shorts he had slept in and stepped into the shower, he gently scooped Sara up into a standing position and pulled her into his arms as she wept.

"I'm sorry.." she cried

"You don't have anything to be sorry about, okay?" He peeled her off him and began to shampoo her hair, he then washed her with her favourite coconut shower gel all the time whispering how much he loved her and that he would make this all okay and she just needed to give herself time and it's okay to cry. Once she was all lathered up he backed her up directly in the spray of the shower and rinsed her off as she stood there limp and defeated.

He turned off the shower and grabbed the towels he had brought her, wrapping one around her body whilst she used the other to slowly towel dry her hair staring vacantly in the mirror.

Once she was dry he handed her the fluffy gown that hung on the back of the door and used the damp towel to dry himself.

She slowly pulled a wide tooth comb through her wet hair and met his eyes in the mirror. Sara felt guilty as she saw the bewildered look on his face, he didn't know what to do or say and he didn't fully know what had happened yet.

"Can we talk over breakfast?" She offered, knowing how uncomfortable he would be feeling.

"Ye..yeah absolutely, I'll go and start some breakfast..what would you like?" He stuttered grateful for the excuse to get out of the bathroom of emotion.

"Whatever you want, babe." She smiled and grabbed his hand as he turned away for the door. "And thank you, for everything.. I don't know where I'd be without you." Her eyes shone with unshed tears as he kissed her forehead and walked away.

When Sara appeared in the kitchen she was tying the white drawstring on her navy sweatpants into a bow, she looked up from her waist to see Grissom placing an enormous omelette on the table. Seeing her eyes widen, he chuckled.

"You don't have to eat it all, Honey.." He paused as he pulled out her chair, "but I thought you could do with the protein." He kissed her cheek and turned back to the counter to get their mugs of coffee.

"It was a heart attack they think, of course they will have to wait for the coroner's report but..that's what they..they think." Sara blurted and scratched her head. She was annoyed that she was finding this so difficult to talk about with him, they had been through so much but she had always kept any information about her family to a bare minimum. It was difficult to talk about and despite their dysfunction she had loved her family, she remembered her family through a child's eyes. She was naïve and didn't understand what was happening was wrong and wasn't going on in all of her school friend's houses, she didn't realise there was an issue until there was blood on the walls and the police came and took her away.

"I'm sorry, Sara." He reached for her hand across the table. She let him take it but hers remained limp as she continued her thoughts out loud.

"It was lonely you know, in foster care I mean.." her lip quivered but she continued, "I was allowed to visit my Mom at the facility once a month as long as their was a social worker free to take me, none of the foster families were willing to get involved. They didn't want to hear about my family, I was so scared that if I didn't talk about them I'd forget their names and then I'd never find them again so used to write down stories about them in my journal.. after a year or so the visits stopped and I didn't see Mom until.." she paused and he looked down as he knew she was referring to when she left Vegas, a pang of tightness hit his chest as he remembered that awful time, when he didn't know if she was coming back or if they were still together. "I'm glad I found her again, laid those ghosts to rest or this would be a whole lot worse I guess.. Hey I'm an orphan now!" She joked weakly feeling exposed and vulnerable , tears brimmed in her eyes and her breath was shaky.

"Do we need to go out there? I'll take some time off, you can take emergency leave? You can't do this on your own.." he stared at her, desperately hoping she wouldn't rush off out of Vegas without him again.

She smiled over her uneaten breakfast at him, "Thanks, thank you Babe. I need to get in touch with my brother again and see where he is up to with the arrangements. I really don't want to go alone though, so I'd really.." her voice cracked. He stood to go and comfort her and she met him halfway around their table, falling into his open arms and swaying side to side slightly.

"You know, from the age of twelve 'til about eighteen I had no physical contact with anyone, no hug, not even a pat on the back.." She kissed his neck and pulled back. " I don't know why I'm telling you all this..but I love it when you hold me." she looked embarrassed and started chewing her lip trying to pull away.

"I like it when you open up to me," he held her hands to stop her retreating any further, "I know that's rich coming from me.. but I want to hear all these things. It's what's makes you the amazing, sensitive, intelligent woman you are now, okay? And besides you can tell me anything, I'd never.." she cut him off with a kiss on the mouth before he made her cry again.

"Come on, your breakfast is getting cold." He said quietly, running a hand down her back and patting her bottom affectionately. She slipped from his arms and decided she would try to eat at least half of what he had prepared for her.

"One thing I never asked, why Vegas Sar?" Sara chuckled as Grissom squeezed her thigh under the table at her brothers question. "I mean, no offence, but of all the places.."

"None taken, Billy." She laughed, taking a sip from her wine glass. "You'd have to ask this guy.." she nudged Grissom who was sitting to her right in the booth. They had held a small funeral earlier in the week and Sara and Grissom had stayed in town so they could spend some time with Billy and his wife, since they were the only family Sara had left.

Billy raised an eyebrow over his pint glass, sitting back in the booth. "Woah, I'm not sure I need to know.." he laughed at Grissom nervous look.

"Nothing like that, Bill!" Grissom assured him, taking a sip of his own beer. "I had a job come available for Sara," he chose to leave out the messy details, "..and I knew she was the one." He said looking to his left so she knew his double meaning was intentional.


End file.
